How my baby screamed at me to awaken my mother’s intuition
Our younger son slept for the first two weeks and then the dam broke and he cried and cried and cried some more. Unlike his older brother, this one feared falling asleep, being put down, being away from me. I was a family therapist (often more a curse than a blessing as a mom) and a student, a person who believed in books to find answers and in using my mind to implement what made sense to me. I pursued this noble course but none of what I read really appealed to me except maybe William Sears. Our pediatrician at the time also gave advice which didn’t sit right with me. And it was all not working with Quin; he still cried.
My intuition kept piping up and finally had to shout to tell me to simply give him what he needed which was to be held and carried. So my husband and I held and carried him. When my left hip (the carrying one) went all wonky, the chiropractor said one cure would be to carry him less. I made a series of future appointments instead.
My father (of eight children) knew better than to take me on in a discussion on the matter but his face said it all – ‘You are spoiling that child.’ And then my parents had both boys for a week when they were 2 and 4. When I came to pick them up, my father was holding Quin tight, chortling, “I can see why you never put this one down. He just melts into you.” My dad and Quin remain very close to this day. It was indeed just what he needed.
Quin is a big strapping man now who can pick me up easily. Life still poses many challenges to his sensitive soul which he must meet without our carrying him in our arms any more. I urge him to use the same intuition he gifted to me when he was so wee.
I am profoundly grateful to him for demanding that I act from the place of my heart, to respond to his real needs and not what the books or my head said. He set me off on a course and direction which has defined my life.